Asleep
by cinematic daydreams
Summary: "She wouldn't mind if she didn't wake up in the morning, because then that would have been a beautiful death, there, in her best friend's arms feeling safer than she has ever been. It would be painless. But for the first time in a week since the death of her mother, she wanted to wake up in the morning." Based off The Smiths' song Asleep. / Slight Kick. / One-shot.


**A/N: **If you came here for a fluffy Kick one-shot, you're not going to get one. I just thought about writing this because I was feeling a little down and I had this gorgeous song on repeat and I felt inspired. Like the song, this one-shot is simple and to the point. It's real. This little one-shot isn't really happy, but it's real. Not all scars are visible on the outside.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Kickin' It or Asleep by The Smiths, which was my inspiration for this one-shot. Thank you, Stephan Chbosky, for your lovely taste in music. Now I have a new favorite song.

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This goes out to all the folks who where stuck with the pain of those not returning. Cheers to you, lovely, for being so strong.

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**Asleep**

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She didn't know how long she could take this anymore.

Kim didn't know where else to run or where else to hide from reality for just a few minutes. When the tears had finally stopped because there were no more, she had found herself in the middle of Jack's bedroom. She looked back at the window she had just climbed through and sighed, feeling the tears coming back. She swallowed them down because tears showed weakness and she didn't want Jack to see her weak.

Too many people had seen her weak already. She had to be strong.

Absent mindedly, she took dragged her sock covered feet across the ground to Jack's bed in the darkness, where he lay soundly asleep. She saw how handsome he was when he slept and how his back rose and fell with each breath he took. His body slept on one side of the bed, the other free. It was that side which Kim folded over the duvet and let her body slip underneath it, climbing onto Jack's mattress.

His body shifted and a few groans came from his direction as Kim snuggled comfortably underneath the blanket, the wind slamming the open window shut. This caused Jack to sit up in his bed in shock, and Kim was the first thing he had laid his eyes on. When he saw it was just Kim, he relaxed. She had never ambushed him in the middle of the night, but he didn't mind.

"It's just me," Kim's voice croaked from underneath the blanket. Her eyes and her locks of her hair popping out from underneath.

Kim was beautiful.

Jack began to lie down again, but this time he was on his side and he was facing Kim. He looked tired, like he wanted to sleep, but Kim looked tired, like she wanted to die. He wasn't going to sleep without finding out what was wrong. He knew what was wrong, everyone did, but there had to be something specific that had brought her here of all places.

He sighed before opening his mouth, but Kim beat him to it. "I needed to escape. Everyone's just … crying and grieving and it's not helping. It doesn't bring her back. Nothing's going to bring her back. My mom's gone and she's never going to come back." In the dark, Jack saw Kim's face twist and a tear escaped her eye. She didn't sob loudly like people normally would; hers were little hiccup sounds like she was suffocating on air.

Like she was dying.

Jack knew there was nothing he could say that could make her feel better, so he didn't say anything more. He scooted closer to him, Kim naturally flopping over to face away from Kim as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, her head fitting snugly underneath Jack's chin. Somehow in this entangled arrangement, Kim found Jack's hand and intertwined his fingers with him while listening to the sound of her failing attempts of breathing and the fast heartbeat she could feel beneath Jack's skin.

It was all so innocent, just what the blonde needed right now. She knew how Jack felt about her, and that she felt the same way, that the last time they had seen each other, they had confessed their love for each other and an argument erupted, thus Kim marching out his room, saying she never wanted to speak to him again.

That had been the night of Kim's mother's death.

She found it so comforting how they he didn't expect anything more from her than holding her and squeezing her hand. He didn't try to jump her, he didn't try to pick a fight, and he just accepted the fact that right now, Kim needed a friend and nothing more.

He didn't know what scared him the most – whether it was how slow Kim was breathing and how she was fighting so hard to do so. Whether it was how violently her hand was shaking in his. He brushed his thumb across her knuckles and squeezed her tighter, just so she knew he was here. His lips were pressing softly against her ear as he whispered; "She wouldn't want to see you like this. I don't want to see you like this. I hate it."

Kim shook her head beneath him gripping his hand even tighter, sniffing and swallowing before she said anything. "I want to just stay here with you and fall asleep for forever in your arms. Then I'd die a beautiful death. My mom wouldn't want me to have a miserable death like she had. She wouldn't want me to think that everyday for a long time might be my last. Isn't it easier to just end it all together so you don't feel pain anymore?"

"Stop," Jack whispered into Kim's ear and it made her feel weird, tingly. It was a nice feeling. She hated that she felt this way when Jack was so desperate to get her suicidal thoughts out of her head. "Please just stop it, Kim."

But she didn't stop. "What's the use of staying if the person who gave you life isn't here to see you live it?" The heartbeat she felt now was different to the one she had felt a few minutes ago. Jack's heart had sped up and he was breathing unevenly into Kim's ear.

"Don't think about it, okay?" Jack said softly, the heartbeat slowing down, his voice still desperate, but in a sense that Kim could stand because it wasn't pity. "You don't have to think about everything now. You don't have to be strong right now. Just let yourself be."

"But I want to sleep."

"Sleep. It's okay. Just please don't leave me."

She wanted to keep that promise, but right now, she wanted so badly to go forever. Just leave. Just sleep. There was something else out there, where her mother was and where she wanted to be with her. There, there was no pain and only happiness. Her mother left so abruptly, though, without a warning. Kim had convinced herself that she was doing much better with the cancer and that she was going to be home in no time.

She never came home.

Kim remembers her disappointment and starts crying all over again. That's what she'd do if she left. She'd disappoint people and cause them pain. Pain was like energy – it could not be destroyed, only transferred. She'd pass it on. It would never leave. Kim wasn't going to be selfish.

She closed her eyes as she felt Jack's lips brush softly against her forehead, feeling his hand had pulled away from hers and that they were now pulling away loose strands from her face. The wind outside is howling and Jack's breathing was even. The sounds surrounding her were so calming.

"I'm not going to leave you," Kim said, her eyes still closed. "I promise."

Sure, she wouldn't mind if she didn't wake up in the morning, because then that would have been a beautiful death, there, in her best friend's arms feeling safer than she has ever been. It would be painless.

But for the first time in a week since the death of her mother, she wanted to wake up in the morning.

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"_Sing me to sleep. _

_Sing me to sleep._

_I'm tired and I,_

_I want to go to bed."_

**Asleep – The Smiths**

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**A/N: **I recommend you listen to the song (if you haven't already – for that, I'm judging you. Just kidding, lol, or maybe not. Let me shut up because everything's just coming okay wrong okay? Shut up now, Nia) because it's amazing c: Please review and tell me what you think of this though, please. I love hearing feedback from you guys! Okay. I love you.

Keep amazing,

Nia (: x


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